R. Kelly’s Defense Strategy Needs To Be Lasered Off

Posted by dingdans

May 22, 2008

R. Kelly is FINALLY on trial for his statutory rape/kiddie porn charges from umpteen years ago. So what are his lawyers using to prove his innocence? A mole on his lower back. Kelly’s defense lawyer Sam Adam Jr. showed the jury photos of a dark, caterpillar-shaped (ew) mole on Kelly which he says is absent from the back of the perpetrator on the infamous 10-year-old sex tape.

“Robert Kelly is not on that tape,” Adam said in his opening statement. On the tape, the man’s “back is illuminated, and there is no mole.”

This is one gross trial. The girl on the tape in question was allegedly 13 years old at the time. The defense’s other tactic is to point out that the girl, who is 23 now, won’t testify in the trial.

“She’s right here in the city. Right here on the South Side of Chicago,” Adam said. “Now, why wouldn’t they bring her in?”

She’s probably embarrassed and grossed out by all this. She was 13! . Kelly was peeing on her! Ugh. Oh, sorry, “the guy with the caterpillar mole” peed on her. Whoever that could be. *eye roll* Trapped in the closet with the watersports guy!

Source: socialitelife.celebuzz.com

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