What? Madonna Adopt Another Malawian Child?
Rumours abounded last year that Madonna was planning to adopt another child from Malawi, a little girl this time, and had even identified the exact toddler to whisk away from its family. Despite all the fuss over her adoption of David Banda, Madonna reportedly had her heart set on two-year-old Mercy James, though the hunt was called off after the child’s uncle John kicked up a fuss at the thought of his niece being stolen away.
Well now she’s back, probably offering to build a few orphanages under the auspices of her Raising Malawi charity in return for the child, as well as a nice financial bonus for the family.
The family refused Madonna’s reported offer to take the child into the paparazzi-strewn world and deliver her back to her parents at the age of six when her life will have been utterly changed. Anaphiri Ngalande, Mercy’s grandmother said,
“I don’t want the money they said they’d give me.”
But Malawian adoption minister Penstone Kilembe says the adoption is now well advanced:
“Madonna’s representatives have been visiting the girl. The adoption is now advanced — all the government is waiting for is Madonna to forward the petition of adoption formalities.”
Popularity: 2% [?]
Angelina Jolie Nak*d Video
Sorry, nothing to see here. I suggest you go rent a copy of Beowulf. Actually the internet security company Secure Computer has reported that emails with a subject line like the title or “Angelina Jolie n*de movie” accounted for over 2% of all email sent over the world wide interweb last month.
This doesn’t mean there is a naked video of Angelina Jolie sweeping the web that you haven’t seen, it means that “Angelina Jolie n*de movie” is the new favorite ploy of the hackers and spammers. If you hit the video link within the email hoping to see some boobies the only thing you are going to get is a trojan and I’m not talking about a condom. Once the trojan is on your machine the hackers can remotely access your computer, gather personal data and just generally fuck with anything they want too.
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Popularity: 2% [?]
Jessica Simpson Wearing Shorts in Her Performance
Jessica Simpson is wearing shorts to really try to live out this whole country thing, because the only country about her was that she was born to a rich family in Texas who packed their bags to have an even richer family in California and the only thing this bitch knows about backwoods is that it’s what her dad calls anal sex and the closest thing she’s ever been to backwoods was her role in Dukes of Hazard, kinda offending the actual backwoods folk who listen to her shit as it pollutes their contry airwaves and coutry music festivals she shows up to in these offensive costumes, like the time I went to a Caribbean festival dressed like Blackface, that’s I lie, I was actually wearing a KKK cape in the car because my friend bet me that I wouldn’t do it, and he was right because that’s the kind of shit that gets you shot, but I did go to a Jewish Temple once with the Jew Cap on as a joke that wasn’t really funny and turned out to be really fuckin’ boring….but yeah, Jessica Simpson is doin some hollywood sh*t,
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Popularity: 2% [?]
RIP to Bernie Mac
Comedian Bernie Mac died at 50 and I didn’t kill him, but Pneumonia (AIDS) did. I think 50 is too young to die but the good news is that he has worked his way out of the gutter and created a pretty mainstream career that made him a lot of money and that got his work out there.
He started in the ’70s. He’s made his impact. He is respected and loved in the community and an inspiration to poor black kids from the projects everywhere and he will be remembered by his many fans and followers and that’s more than we can say for any of us when we die….because no one cares about us.
Now I don’t know anything about Bernie Mac, but in 2007 he made this joke…..
“I’m going to still do my producing, my films, but I want to enjoy my life a little bit,” …
Popularity: 2% [?]
New Album Cover of Trannycat Dolls
Did Kim Kardashian replace Nicole Scherzingwhatever as the lead lip-syncher of the Trannycat Dolls? Who the hell is that tranny?
What’s sad is that my 4-year-old cousin worships these skanks. I seriously better not hear about her driving around on her Princess Big Wheel, wearing her mother’s Playtex bra while singing about how when she grows up she wants boobies. I will slap her mom with a dirty chankla if that ever happens.
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Popularity: 2% [?]
What? Sienna Miller is HeartBroken?
Yeah, I don’t believe it. Sienna Miller is like me. We don’t have hearts, we have genitals. Our genitals get sad, but our hearts don’t. Unless, we watch a melancholy and touching movie involving talking animals. That’s a different story. Anywhore, the Daily Mail reports that “heartbroken” Sienna escaped to the Virgin Islands to be with her daddy (her real daddy) after Balthazar Getty flew to Los Angeles to be with his wife and family.
Balthazar is apparently trying to make his marriage work for the sake of his 4 children. His wife, Rosetta, is also interested and agreed to talk to him over the weekend. Rosetta probably took a long, hard look at the prenup and realized she was better off being married to his skeezy ass. A source said, “He was on the phone to Rosetta on and off for two hours, crying and constantly calling and she finally agreed to let him back in the house. In his mind he has definitely dropped Sienna but he’s in a very confused state at the moment. His biggest fear is losing his kids.”
He can’t drop Sienna. She drops him. That’s how it works. Besides, he’s probably vaginatized.
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Popularity: 3% [?]
Oprah The Richer Woman in the World of TV
You already know this, but I’ll tell you anyway. Oprah richer than all of us combined times a hundred. Shit, times a hundred thousand. TVGuide has put out their annual list of the riches whores in television and it’s no surprise that Oprah came out on top.
She reportedly makes $385 million a year in TV shit ALONE. No wonder Gayle King has stuck around so long. I’d lick Oprah’s vag sweat too if she gave me even 1% of her fortune.
What the hell do you do with all that money? I mean, I feel like we should all get together and sue her for some stupid reason. We can sue her for being too rich. Her wealth has caused us to feel bad about ourselves and we can’t work because of it. She’ll probably settle right away. Then we can take our settlement, buy an island, build a lucite mansion with a chicken cutlet garden, hire a dozen cholitas to entertain us and live the rest of our lives in heavenly bliss. Make it happen.
Other dumb skanks on the list include:
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Popularity: 3% [?]
What is This Stallone?
Vadge, please take a hard look at these pictures. If you don’t stop, this is what your arms could look like. Actually, her arms sort of do look like that.
Seriously, what in roid hell is going on with Sly Stallone’s arms and legs? Just looking at these pictures makes my own veins all tingly. If you touched one of his veins, it would touch you back.
Imagine what his veiny dick looks like. Ribbed for your pleasure. A bitch could lose a tooth or three from sucking on his roid stick. His pulsating veins would knock em right out. You’d have to wear a fucking mouth guard.
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Popularity: 3% [?]
Holly Valance September Issue for FHM Magazine
I don’t really now what to say about these pictures of Australian beauty Holly Valance in the September issue of FHM magazine, it’s pretty obvious that she’s beyond hot, I’m speechless. She’s very intimidating. I think if I saw her in person I’d soil myself. I’m not sure but I don’t think she’d be impressed.
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Popularity: 2% [?]
Ugly Hair of Petra Nemcova
I don’t know what the hell Petra Nemcova did to her hair, but it’s not flattering at all! If there was one way for a really hot chick to make herself ugly this is the way to do it. I’m devastated. This is almost as bad as a hot celeb getting knocked up. Anyway, at least Christie Brinkley looks damn tasty! I don’t know how old she is, but watching her Total Gym informercial is the best workout on late night TV.
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Popularity: 2% [?]
